GERMAN CANALS, THE MIGHTY RHINE, THE MORE MODEST BUT LOVELY MOSEL, FRENCH CANALS, STRASBOURG AND THE DASH DOWN THE RHINE TO HOLLAND.
Totty and Broontrooser's Cruises - Kruise amongst the Krauts!
If you don't fancy the rigours of a Hebridean Cruise, try Totty and Broontrooser's Deutschsland Kanal Kruise! Visit the historic Mittelland Kanal - balls-aching boredom and total tedium absolutely certain; suicidal impulses almost guaranteed. This venerable waterway crosses the centre of Germany. With true Teutonic efficiency, it is dead straight for 550 Km. Additional bonus feature is high banks, avoiding unnecessary and distracting views. Frequent sightings of Polish coal peniches and Czech scrap iron barge trains a certainty!! Freeze with delicious terror at the antics of Rhine barges driven by drunken homicidal Polish skippers!
Fine food guaranteed for punters with a liking for Schnitzeln, Schweinemedallionen, knoedeln, kartoffeln and the wonderful thick pink and white sauce.
And don't listen to German yokes with a mouth full of Pilsner - you will find that you spray explosively with laughter!! Ho! Ho! Ho!
Das Boot “Deneys Reitz” rests peacefully in the marina at Ega, near Aarhus in Denmark, having travelled there from Norway via the West coast of Sweden, no piece of piss, as autumn was drawing in and the winds getting up. Aarhus is a splendid city with canals and fine restaurants in one of which Totty and BT entertained the Honorary Local Representative of the Cruising Association and his wife, who had helped us and the boat over the winter. The meal was splendid, the company sophisticated in a natural Scandinavian way and the bill scrotum-tightening.
The old boat is fuelled, watered, victualled, the engines inspected; good supplies of fine wines, brilliant beers and sumptuous schnapps loaded ready for the Great Quest to the Centre of Europe. All that remains is to get smashed again with the crew of the good yacht “Megan Louise” before setting forth South down the Danish Little Belt towards Lubeck and the entry to the mighty German canals and ........ The Rhine!!!