More sphincter-tightening adventures in the western isles of Scotland

Bulletin One

Subject: More awesome dangers

Dear all,

This year sees the crew of the brave Twin Screw Motor Yacht (TSMY) "Deneys Reitz" preparing for yet another quest into the West. This year held rich hopes for Broontroosers, who has recently qualified as a PADI-trained scuba diver. PADI, for those coarse people who might infer meaning into the nationality of the instructors, is not Irish: "Ah shure, de quickest way to de bottom? Just don dese lead boots, hold yer nose, jump and ye'll be dere in no toime at all, at all, so". No, PADI stands for Professional Association of Diving Instructors, and Don has been carefully trained and examined by these extraordinarily competent people and confirmed as Fit to Dive! The purpose of all this is of course to plunge for scallops, lobsters, giant mussels and other edible delights that teem in Scottish waters. Alas! Towards the end of the rigorous training, the PADIs dropped a bombshell - no diving wiithout a "dive buddy"; insurance nullified etc. Disaster! Especially as the Navigator, on being approached to be Broontrooser's "Buddy", made one condition and one observation; to wit:

So that's the end of that fine dream. All that's left is to sail North, visiting the Small Isles (Muck, Egg, Rum and Canna), circumnavigating Skye and thus via Plockton and Ullapool to the invitingly named "Summer Isles" (apparently so called because nobody in their right mind would dare go there in the winter).

Readers can expect three possible forms of communication:

So there we are. the crew is limbering up, the boat is hopefully still afloat (latest reports are positive) and the Strategic Support and Backup team is on standby. The members of this vital group are:

Watch this space for thrills and spills

Yours aye


PS Just arrived in Ardfern; pissing with rain and blowing hard. Bloody good start.